Absent-minded Will

Today, I had to go get Will from school. He gets bad headaches and then gets upset and starts having difficulty breathing because of his asthma.

I also had to run to town early in the afternoon, so Will had to go with me.

On the way back home, we notice it's almost 2 o'clock.

Me: Will? Do you want to run by the house and get the laptop, then go wait in the car line for Bud (Will's nickname for his brother) or let Miss Jennie get him?
Will: Umm...let's get the computer and go wait.

When we get home, Will says he'll run in a get it. I give him the keys and in he goes.

About 2 minutes later, he comes out with the laptop in hand.

Me: Will? Did you lock the door?
Will: Yep.
Me: Where are my keys?
Will: Umm...uh oh. It's not my fault! It's not my fault!

So, we're locked out of the house, and can't go get a spare because my truck keys are on there too.

I had Will check the back door, but it was locked.

I call Glenda at work. She says she had Christopher's window open the other day, and it was still unlocked.

So, I go to check and sure enough...it's unlocked!

I call Will around, open the window and help him through. Now, this window isn't low and Will isn't a typical 9 year old. He's "husky".

With much effort, we get him in. I walk back around to the truck and wait on him to come back out.

After about a minute, he comes out.

Me: Will, do you have the keys??

Will shakes the keys at me and climbs in the truck.

Will: You know, we didn't have to do all that just now.
Me: Why?
Will: I forgot to lock the door! Haha!!!

Will, Quicksand, and Grasshoppers

In the car line again with Will.

As we're discussing how the extremely muddy area that has now dried up on the school grounds, Will spots a grasshopper outside the window in the grass.

Will: Dad, could you walk across quicksand and not sink?
Me: No Will. You'll sink.
Will: What about a grasshopper? Would it sink too?
Me: No Will. Probably not. Grasshoppers aren't heavy enough to sink.
Will: Well, if I saw one on quicksand, I'd put a brick on it. If people sink, grasshoppers should too.

Will: He's NOT a goat!

Will and I were sitting in the car line, waiting to pick up Christopher from school. I hadn't had lunch yet, so I grabbed a sub on the way and I was eating it as we waited.

Now, I don't like a lot of bread, and, I HATE fat on meat.

So, I was picking the bread off and dropping it on the sub wrapper.

From the back seat, I see a hand grabbing the discarded bread off my wrapper.

I look back, and Will just grins while he chews up bread.

Will: I'm eating this bread you're throwing down.
Me: Ok.

About this time, I pull some fat off my roast beef and drop in on the wrapper as well.

Me: Here Will...eat this too.
Will: I'm not eating that! That's trash! What am I?? Your goat??

Will visits Applebee's

Glenda (my wife) had an appointment at the dentist. So, while she's there, Will, Christopher (my older son) and myself decide to eat lunch at Applebee's.

Our lunch had arrived, and we were all eating...when Will stops.

He looks at me and says:

Will: Dad?
Me: Yeah Will?
Will: Have you ever passed gas while you were peeing?
Me: (laughing) Uhh...huh? Why would you ask that??
Will: I don't know. It just popped in my mind.

Will and the Drum Solo

I was sitting in the den, watching TV and listening to the sound of a furious drumbeat from Will's room. If I didn't know better, I would have though Neil Peart and Rush were in there performing a concert!

This goes on for about 10 minutes...then, suddenly, silence.

A minute or two goes by and Will's bedroom door opens. He comes out, holding the side of his head and wincing in pain.

Will: Ow! I just hit myself in the ear!

Then, he turns and disappears down the hall into the darkness...to watch TV in my bedroom.

The concert was over for the night.

An introduction to Will.

My youngest son Will.

He's 9 years old.

There aren't many like him.

He always seems to come up with something "matter-of-fact" to say. When you're trying to be subtle, Will is blunt. He's never rude, just blunt. He always seems to find himself in some sort of pickle. You also never know what's going to come out of his mouth next, and believe me...he has plenty to say.

In this blog, I'm going to keep track of some of the, umm...more interesting comments he makes and moments with him. These are already on my Facebook page, but I decided to put them here also.

Take this one for example...

I'm in the recliner, when I hear this:

Will: Dad, where are your keys?
Me: Will, I'm on the phone right now.
Will: Ok.
(A couple minutes pass, without comment from Will. Not a peep.)
Me: Ok Will. I'm done on the phone. Why do you need my keys?
Will: I've handcuffed myself to the door.